


let me tell you what i wished i'd known, when i was young and dreamed of glory (i know that greatness lies in you)

by youareiron_andyouarestrong



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Big Brother superhero/Little Brother superhero, Gen, Oliver 'angst and arrows' Queen, Oliver is not a good older brother sometimes, Superheroes, he tries bless him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-26 09:50:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7569520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youareiron_andyouarestrong/pseuds/youareiron_andyouarestrong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver knows better than anyone he's a poor older brother. That doesn't stop him from trying though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me tell you what i wished i'd known, when i was young and dreamed of glory (i know that greatness lies in you)

When Oliver looks at Barry for the first time and he thinks, _Young. Unformed. Immature._ He thinks, _you’re practically a_ child, _who the hell let you out into the world,_ he thinks, _who is looking after you._

He doesn’t know _what_ to do with Barry, with his enthusiasm and joy and eagerness to be a part of a world that if Oliver had had a choice, never would’ve been his. Barry came to Star City under false pretenses, helped them catch their target, saved Oliver’s life—

Even after Oliver forced him to admit to his own past, painful and traumatic.

Oliver tries not to think about the look on Felicity’s face after Barry told them about his mother’s murder, her tired question to him: _And what do we do every day?_

Barry is young, he is untried, he knows _nothing_ of the world and the hard choices Oliver has to make or will make or had made—

But he is also intelligent and competent and _brave,_ stands up to Oliver for Felicity’s sake, and never, ever asks for anything in return, except that he might help.

 He gave Oliver his life and his mask.

Oliver can repay debts.  

* * *

He hears much, much later that Barry was struck by lightning after he left Star City, and because he has to do _something_ , he quietly contacts the hospital and tries to see about paying the bills or the insurance for Barry’s foster family. He’s politely informed that Harrison Wells is taking care of the medical bills and of Barry’s care for the foreseeable future, which is _nice,_ but—

Who is Harrison Wells?

He complies whatever information he can on him, and there’s not much there, but Oliver keeps it on stand-by—just in case. 

* * *

Barry comes to Star City, telling an impossible story about lightning and storms and _speed_. His shirt smells of smoke. Oliver looks at him and thinks, _impossible, brave,_ he thinks, _hero._

Barry can be what Oliver can’t, a guardian, an inspiration. The Arrow can terrify, but Barry? Barry can bring _light._ Light and hope, two things that Oliver tries to do daily with mixed success.

Oliver’s first goal when he became the Arrow was vengeance. Barry’s first instinct was to _help._

_Take your own advice,_ he says to Barry. _Wear a mask._   

* * *

Oliver comes to Central City, wary and edged, arrows at the ready. He is not afraid of violence or blood, but it seems to follow him wherever he goes.

Barry is not _afraid_ either of those things either, not exactly, but he runs into danger, headlong and reckless with the joy of speed. Gleeful to show off what he can do. It’s a game to him, almost, the kind little boys play when they’re too young and too fearless to know any better. It makes Oliver feel…old. Older than usual.

He’s not much of a teacher. He’s too impatient, too stubborn. But he has to _try_.

Of course, Felicity gives him a _very_ disapproving look when she finds out he really did shoot Barry with the arrows.

_Was that necessary?_ She asks him on the trip home to Star City. _Barry doesn’t actually go in for that kind of kung-fu, trial by fire teaching._

_I did,_ Oliver retorts. _And I learned the hard way, through the experience._

Felicity shrugs. _Yeah, but…Barry’s not you. I thought we established this._

_Besides he paid me back for that,_ Oliver reminds her. He’s still got black and blue bruises all over his chest.

Felicity narrows her eyes at him. _Never. Do. That. Again. Okay? It’s hard to see two of the guys I like most in my life trying to kill each other, alright?_

_I didn’t do it_ on purpose, Oliver protests, though something inside him warms at the notion that _he_ is one of Felicity’s favorite people.

* * *

Oliver still remembers when Thea was young enough to trust him implicitly, without question.  She’d turn to him and just _know_ that her big brother could fix everything.

It’s been a very long time since Thea’s done that to him.

But it’s something that Barry does as well. Turns to Oliver and waits, looks at him for direction.

So Oliver does what he does best—terrify, inflict damage, get information. He gets the job done. And Barry looks at him like he doesn’t know him.

_You tortured that guy,_ Barry says. Said like that, in Barry’s voice, young and unsure, it reveals the truth for what it is—Oliver tortures people. He’s _killed_ people. He’s done it before and no doubt, he’ll do it again.

_I interrogated him,_ he corrects Barry. Because that’s what Oliver does.

_We’re supposed to be the_ good guys, Barry protests.

He tries not to think about how much that _hurts,_ that Barry looks at him and thinks, _good guy. Hero_ , when Oliver knows all too well that he is not any of those things.

_My mother was murdered right in front of me—_ he snarls at Barry, because it’s always been easier for Oliver to be angry than to be grieve.

_My mother was murdered in front of me too,_ Barry says quietly, a statement of fact. This terrible statistic they have in common. He doesn’t flinch away from Oliver’s anger like he did in the beginning, and some small part of Oliver recognizes and respects him for it. _But I don’t use my personal tragedies as an_ excuse _to torture whoever pisses me off._

_Barry isn’t you,_ Felicity reminded him once and Oliver thinks _no he’s not._ Because the plain truth of the matter is that Barry is stronger than Oliver in ways Oliver is never going to be.

He tries very, very hard not to resent it.

* * *

_You_ can _inspire people,_ Barry tells him, fondly and with a certain kind of _well-obviously_ in his tone. _Not as the Arrow, that guy’s kind of a douche—_ a startled laugh escapes Oliver before he can stop it— _but as Oliver Queen._

He, himself. Not what he’s created himself to be. It’s a nice thought, and it’s nice to know that Barry thinks it. He’s not sure as to whether or not it’s true, but when Barry says it—he can almost believe it.

**Author's Note:**

> Oliver "Angst and Arrows" Queen really is fond of Barry! he tries not to be, that's all.


End file.
